Letting go

I only realised today how crazy my birthday party idea seems. It's an idea I came up with a month ago, and one that I've been executing ever since. It's a kid's party. A proper old skool kids' party. We're gonna play pass the parcel (which took far too long to wrap), musical statues, three-legged race, make party hats, have vodka jelly and ice cream and so much more. I am celebrating my passing out of teenhood with a kid's party. Even for me, it's pretty crazy.

So what on earth possessed me to do this? Anyone else would hit some bars and clubs (which I did do, and very much enjoyed) or have a meal or go for a pint. Not revert back to an age of immaturity and naivety for the day. That's not why I chose to have a kids' party though. I wanted one because, actually, being a kid is pretty cool. Being a student is obviously awesome too, but the one truly awesome experience of childhood is the lack of inhibitions. You can be a pilot, you can play in the dirt, you can run outside naked and you don't care.

I'm not saying I want to run round naked. I don't think anyone would want to see that. The fearlessness of it all though is what I want back in my life. Any inhibitions, any worries just evaporate on arrival. The only limit was the sky. Maybe because I've got taller that limit seems closer. A couple of feet closer. That's nothing. I need to stop worrying, stop thinking I'm going to fail, stop fretting about where I'm going to go in life because if I do I don't go anywhere. I need to be more childlike and just let go, knowing if I get hurt they'll always be a hug to make it feel better.